When I lived with my dad in High School, I met one of my brother's friends & he just so happened to be involved in Theater like I was. We would ride the Early bus together & usually stay late for clubs and ride the Late bus home together. I had a little bit of a crush on him... I don't think I knew what FRIENDSHIP felt like. I "liked" any guy I was friends with pretty much.
We began to really talk. I confided in him more than anyone else in High School. I never told him the whole truth, and still to this day haven't told him most of what I've written on this blog. He would probably bring my father back to life so he could kill him himself. And he talked to me. He told me things he has probably never told anyone else.
He lived with his aunt because his mother is mentally retarded and couldn't care for him anymore. We both felt abandoned. In a way, we held onto each other.
When he started driving, he would give me rides to and from school. After about a yr my "crush" on his faded and he became more like a brother. We are close. We will always be close.
I'm not sure if he will ever forgive me for moving away. I didn't even tell him I was leaving, I just left. He was so angry with me. Then when I got pregnant I thought he was going to drive down to drag me home.
He tells me to move home every single day. If only it were that easy...
He started dating a girl about 2 yrs ago. I hated her. I didn't trust her. Not because I was jealous- she wasn't good enough for him. But I bit my tongue, and supported his decisions. I'll never forget the day I got that phone call.
'I'm going to be a Daddy.'
My heart broke. This wasn't the plan for him. He was supposed to do better than me. He was supposed to succeed for both of us. But they were happy, they were going to get married. Until he got the text message...
'I'm moving back in with my parents.'
No explanation. She just wanted to move home. He let her. He stood back and let her leave- what choice did he have? It took her 10 days to actually move out. She barely spoke to him the remainder of her pregnancy and his son doesn't have his last name. He is not allowed to take his son out of her home, and has to go there each day to visit with him.
This man works at a DAYCARE. He has his own apartment. We even threw him a baby shower to make sure he had what needed to take care of his son.
He wants her back. He's never gotten over her. And they will try again- for the baby's sake. And she will leave and break his heart all over again. And there's nothing I can do but support his decisions....
My husband read a text conversation between us last night and is freaking out. He thinks we are having an affair.
I'm homesick. I'm lonely. I love my life in Chicago, I really do. I love my job and our new house. But... I'm not really HAPPY here. I'm sorry but I'm not. I wonder if I will be truly happy ANYWHERE?
I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss having more than just my in laws around when I need help. I miss stopping by Nana's for dinner, Holidays with MY side of the family, friends around all the time. I miss being HOME.
We can't go there. I know that. It would never work. But, doesn't mean I can't wish right? So why is he upset that I WISH I could go home? How can be mad about the way I FEEL?
So because we discussed we miss each other we must be sleeping together? That doesn't make any sense.
I HATE MEN.
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