Chapter Four

When I was 15 my best friend and I got arrested for shop lifting. From that moment on my father had real reason to hate her other than the fact she was forcing me to grow up. She gave me make up, loaned me clothes and we talked to boys! *GASP!* So I wasn't allowed to talk to her- so I did it in secret, of course. 


After I moved out I would see her when I could and we eventually made friends to go see my mom for the summer between Junior and Senior year. My mom bought our tickets and her parents said it was fine. The people I was living with were encouraging my relationship with my mom but cautious of my friend because of what my dad had told them. They told my grandmother my plans and she told my dad, who flipped out. He did everything he could to stop it and eventually succeeded in getting me kicked out from the house I was staying at. 


I went to stay with my best friend as soon as school was out. I was happy! I was back where I belonged. But I knew my dad would never let me live there, I had no choice but move cross country with my mom. My best friend and I flew down together and she stayed for 3 weeks. Watching her leave was a mixture of emotions. My heart was breaking, not knowing when I would see her again and part of me wishing I could go with her. Another part of me was ready for a fresh start. Then another part of me was numb to the fact I had walked out on 3 years of hard work at my old school. I left without a word. I was going to start over at a brand new school for my SENIOR year of High School.


I found a new church within weeks of moving. It helped me make friends before starting school in the fall. But when I went to school, they told me the requirements were different between states and I would have to go 2 more years instead of 1 to finish with Honors like I had planned. WHAT! I was advised to withdraw and begin home schooling under the curriculum of my previous school- there went my Senior year. I hadn't been allowed to go to my Junior prom and now wouldn't go to any Senior prom, walk at graduation or do anything I had so looked forward to. I was heart broken. But I did what I had to do. I was going to graduate.


I did a semester of classes online. I made straight A's. Right before Thanksgiving, something went wrong with my mom's business and we lost our house. My mom's boyfriend had turned into an asshole a few weeks before- mainly out of jealousy that I had moved in? So I ended up renting a room at a random lady's house. I got a job serving at a local restaurant and continued working on my classes. 


Right after New Years I was informed I could take the GED anytime and finish classes all together. WHAT? I wasn't getting my GED, I was getting a Diploma- RIGHT? No, wrong. I was taking GED Prep classes via the states virtual school. I quit classes immediately. No point in wasting any more of my time. I would just take the GED when I could... 


I ended up meeting a guy at work. We really hit it off. This was my 1st boyfriend! The people I lived with had a 16 year old daughter- who was pregnant. And they were terrified of me getting pregnant in their house. WE WEREN'T EVEN HAVING SEX! They just made life very awkward. It became quite clear it was time for me to move out. After a huge blow out I moved in with a couple from church and stopped seeing my boyfriend. We still talked on the phone almost daily and saw each other maybe 4 times in 2 months. I knew he was probably cheating on me, but I didn't think we were going to last so I didn't really care. 


He got into a car accident and spent 10 days in the hospital. Everything changed after that. We knew we wanted to be together. We knew he couldn't go back to the party house he was staying at and he couldn't stay with me! So my mom let him stay with her- I couldn't stay there because I was relying on the bus to get to work and there was no bus where my mom lived. So I would go over there on weekends. Our relationship got more serious with every passing day and we eventually started having sex. I got on the pill and figured I had nothing to worry about-- right??


After a few weeks we bought a car and got our own apartment. He got a job and life was going good. He was on probation for the car accident (DUI) and lost his license. That complicated things but we made it work. Then, he was fired from his job after they accused him of stealing. Since he was on probation he didn't fight it and just walked away. Right after he lost his job, I started feeling really sick and emotional- all the cliche` bullshit.


Actually, that's all bullshit. I had been taking pregnancy tests for weeks. I was paranoid my pill wouldn't work after my mom realized I was taking the same pill she was on when she got pregnant with me. It was one of these random pregnancy tests that unexpectedly produced 2 pink lines. I was in shock. I didn't know what to do. I didn't even know this guy! We had been dating 8 months and I was PREGNANT! 


I walked out of the bathroom, threw the test and him and walked out. I called my mom.